Today I am not talking about my best photographic buddy, my puppy named Lilly. She is a Black Lab cross Beagle. She looks like a baby Black Lab and she is, well black. 

So this is not a blog about Lilly. 

Winston Churchill referred to it as the black dog when it came calling in his life. Let's call it what it is, depression. According to the World Health Organization almost 6 percent of the population suffers from clinical depression. Depression is an illness, a disease and for many it is virtually untreatable. For the vast majority of sufferers, because of lack of medical care or poverty, there is no help available. This is not about the depression that accompanies the occasional life struggles that comes with loss; loved ones, jobs, money etc. This about long term and seemingly unprovoked feelings of sadness characterized by lack of enthusiasm for life in general and even the things that would normally excite you. This is about long term suffering for no apparent reason. It is about the chemistry of the brain and it is a disease just as real as any other.

Depression intersects with all stratum of society; the famous and the infamous, the well-known and the unknown, the rich and the poor, educated and not. It has inherited traits but no one is immune. Please remember that people fake happiness but cannot truly disguise depression. Robin Williams was the poster child of depression.

I suffer from clinical depression. I have suffered from it my entire life and it is debilitating. Most readers will stop at this point. But for the few, probably those who suffer, who want to read on, let me explain how this relates to photography. 

The trick to dealing with depression is to keep busy and better to be creative and keep busy. This is not easy and I don’t mean to trivialize it in any way. The hardest thing I do each day is get out of bed. The second hardest thing I do each day is stay out of bed.

But when you open your eyes in the morning, if you can have a moment of interest in some activity you may have planned for the day then you have a small spark that may start the fire of enthusiasm to propel you forward with your day.

For me this is photography; I try as much as possible to have some small creative task that I would like to accomplish the next day when I go to bed at night. The need to be creative and fulfilling that need is key to my mental wellbeing. In the morning that small, but not overwhelming task is my spark, my opportunity to have sufficient interest in the day to put my feet on the floor and propel myself forward with the day. Again, I don’t want to trivialize this momentary mindset and the initiative it can ignite. It is subtle and can be elusive. There are days when I have to forgive myself for not being able to rally to the challenge. It is incredibly important to be gentle on yourself if you suffer from depression.

I want to be open and clear about my illness. For too long mental illness has been hidden away accompanied with feelings of shame and isolation. Depression is an illness, a disease every bit as real as cancer. As a society we have to stop holding the unspoken belief and attitude that mental illness should remain a private struggle. One of the most influential motivators of well-being for issues of mental health is social interaction. It is vital that we be open about mental illness – vital for those who suffer and vital for those who don’t - that they should accept it as part of the human condition.

If you have read this far I congratulate you for your acceptance and interest. Please leave a comment and especially if you suffer from clinical depression, let’s talk. The brain can be a self-healing organ but only in the company of friends, family and neighbors with openness and understanding.

So my blog has suffered along with me. I want to get back to making regular posts about my photography and my life story as it unfolds. To those who may be critical I offer my apology without excuses. You see in depression the mind goes in two directions. First there is what it wants to accomplish and second, there is the sabotage of sadness and lack of interest and enthusiasm.

Through medication, counselling, friends and family I am in a better place than I have been but by no means cured of this terrible affliction. So this is today’s blog entry and I hope it can be the start of a renewed effort.

I do encourage you to comment. It helps me in my struggles knowing that I am not alone; and it may just help you or someone you know in this constant struggle towards wellness.

Today was about open honesty and why my blog has suffered. Going forward I want to focus on my photographic journey. It has been 10 years since I picked up my first DSLR. I have learned a great deal and come a long way. But each day is an opportunity to learn something new. For me, learning something new each day is a quest, a passion and a necessity.

Please join me on my journey. Come along as I hone my skills and branch out with my interests. Photography is a beautiful art form and we are so lucky to the amazing technology so readily available today.

I hope you share your own artistic endeavours with me. If you comment on my blog it will enrich both of our lives. Thank you.